Understanding Trauma
Trauma can affect the way we think feel and relate to others, and experience ourselves in the world. Sometimes the impact is immediate and obvious but often trauma is carried quietly for years- showing itself through anxiety, emotional numbness, relationship difficulties, low self esteem or a persistent feeling of being unsafe in the world.
You may struggle to to explain why certain situations feel overwhelming, why you react strongly to conflict or rejection, or why you find it difficult to trust others or feel close to people.
Trauma is not only about what happened to us, but also what we were left to cope with alone.
How Trauma Can affect You
Trauma can show up in many different ways, including:
- anxiety or panic
- emotional numbness
- feeling disconnected from yourself your surroundings or others
- difficulty trusting people
- shame or self criticism
- flashbacks or intrusive memories
- relationship difficulties
- Hypervigilance or feeling constantly on edge
- depression or hopelessness
- addiction or compulsive behaviours
Some people recognise their experiences as a response to trauma but others only begin to understand the impact later in life.
Here you can read more about a PTSD , and here you can read about C or Complex PTSD
I have worked with many clients who have either been diagnosed with or who I suspect have either PTSD or CPTSD. If I think you have PTSD I will ask you to visit your GP before we begin our work for a diagnosis and a chat about whether or not the NHS might be better placed to help, but in most cases I have found that the NHS has very long waiting lists and is not able to offer the right kind of help, not because of a lack of expertise, but because of the funding crisis. If I think your PTSD is too complex for me to work with I will write to your GP with your consent and advise an evaluation with a psychologist and a treatment plan.
Childhood Trauma and Early Relationships
Early relationships can shape how safe valued, or emotionally secure we feel as adults. Experiences such as neglect, emotional abuse, criticism, inconsistency, abandonment, being leaned on emotionally or growing up around addiction can leave lasting emotional affects. One of the least talked about types of neglect is when parents lean on their children for emotional support and confide in them almost as if their child were a friend or even a therapist. This is damaging in a subtle way and is an under recognised form of emotional abuse and neglect. Adults who experienced this as children, often females, will usually not recognise what has happened to them and show difficulty in meeting their own needs. Other ways in which adults who have experienced childhood trauma or neglect cope are :
- people pleasing
- avoiding conflict
- suppressing anger
- feeling overly responsible for others
- being emotionally withdrawn in relationships
- repeating painful relationship patterns.
- numbing emotions through substances, gambling or distraction.
- pushing people away and isolating
- go from relationship to relationship with none lasting very long
- finding themselves drawn into unhealthy situations or relationships
- being emotionally volatile, people accuse them of having Bi Polar when they are actually traumatised.
How therapy can help treat trauma
Therapy offers a space to explore your experiences safely and at your own pace.
My approach is integrative, drawing on psychodynamic, relational and trauma informed practice. Together we can begin to understand how past experiences may still be affecting your present life, relationships, emotions and sense of self.
The aim is not to force painful memories, but to help you feel more connected, emotionally understood and less alone with what you carry.
Face to face or online trauma therapy across the UK
I offer face to face sessions for clients in the Hants area.
I offer secure online trauma therapy to clients across the UK.
Online therapy allows you to access support from your own home, without the need to travel, and many clients find it feels just as effective and containing as in person work.
Online sessions take place via secure video call.
About me and my background in working with trauma
I am a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist with over 20 years of working with adults facing trauma, anxiety, relationship difficulties, abuse, addictions and emotional distress.
I am an accredited member of the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) and work within their ethical framework.
Get in touch
If you are considering therapy, you are welcome to get in touch for an initial conversation. This can be an opportunity to ask questions, talk briefly about what has brought you to therapy and see whether working together feels right for us both.